Our Gay Holiday: A day at the zoo

http://www.zoologicodevallarta.com/
    It was the day before we were supposed to leave and we wanted to do something fun with Calixa...away from our resort. The zoo at Mismaloya seemed like the perfect outing. We knew that the zoo was south of PV but were a little leary of taking the bus. The taxi driver quoted us 50 pesos (about 5 bucks) for the trip and so, thinking we'd gotten quite a deal, we loaded the stroller into the back of the little Nissan and were off...in the wrong direction. The cabbie's limited English and my limited Spanish meant that the quoted price was for a trip to the "zoo restaurant" on the boardwalk.
     "No, ah no quiero ir a el restaurante. Quiero ir a el zoo con los animales." I reiterated once we realized the mistake and once again we were off, south this time to the city limits. We hadn't discussed the new fare for this longer out-of-town trip and I worried that maybe we should have taken the bus after all.
     Driving along the Banderas Bay coast highway gave new meaning to the phrase, "stop and go traffic". I can only imagine that the winding paved highway and blind corners created too many visions of racecar glory and too many tragic accidents. The result of this is that the highway is riddled with massive speed bumps. Between the bumps our driver would rev up the engine and drive like his life depended on it, much to the chagrin of my queasy stomach. I opened the window and let the wind scath my face in an attempt to keep my breakfast down.
     Watching the side of the highway, it became apparent that there are a lot of really nice resorts and houses just south of PV- worth noting if we ever decide to come back. They are more secluded but my guess is that they are also cleaner and probably more family friendly.
     It turns out the Mismaloya is only 20km south of PV, a fact that made the drive more tolerable. Once we pulled into the lonely dusty parking lot of the zoo the driver wanted to know if we'd like him to wait. A quick survey of our surroundings confirmed how wise this would be. Mismaloya is a ways from the highway and come to think of it, I hadn't noticed any other taxis for quite some time...and certainly none in the immediate vicinity and so price and time agreed upon, we and our driver went our separate ways.
     Cally's eyes grew wide as we pushed the stroller through the main gates. "Water water!" she squealed, pointing to the mass of boulders in the courtyard spewing greenish sludge from their top. "Yes, I suppose it does resemble water." I speculated and wheeled the stroller in a wide arc around the fountain. The Mismaloya zoo is laid out in a circle. All you have to do is walk along the path and enjoy the sights...what we didn't expect was that the path was nearly vertical. It was as much a workout as it was an adventure!

Wide-eyed Calixa loved the zoo but was a little leery of the giraffe

     Cally and I had been to the Calgary zoo a few months earlier and it was interesting to compare the two. The first major difference was the cost of entry. In Mexico it only cost $20 for the three of us to get in and Calgary was a good deal more expensive than that. The second was the cleanliness. Calgary took the cake there as the Mismaloya zoo assaulted us with smells and sights of every kind and color. In Calgary you can look at the animals but secure animal habitats make actual touching impossible. In Mexico, visitors are encouraged to feed the animals and you can buy bags of food at the gift shop. The animals get close enough to touch and their enclosures lead you to wonder just how safe you are from a tiger or bear attack. The snake houses aren't even locked. You could simply flip the latch and let out a six foot boa constrictor. In Calgary the animal habitats are considered humane and are large enough for the animals to thrive. In Mexico, this is sadly not the case. The poor hippopotamus was wallowing in a tub filled with green muck no bigger that 8 feet by 6. The rest of her enclosure was simply dust and dirt.
     The variety of animals on display was impressive: there were lions, tigers, pumas and leopards, crocodiles, snakes, flamingos and geese. Calixa really liked the monkeys and we counted at least 4 different kinds there. We actually saw one tourist get bitten by a monkey with a handler and I grimly wondered what kind of vaccinations she was going to need. The giraffe took me by surprise as he lowered his face to eye level, no less than 2 feet from mine. Evidently he expected us to feed him but once he discovered that we hadn't bought any food he turned back into his tiny cell and thoroughly ignored us. The funniest animals we saw were the raccoons and coyotes. We see those all the time at home and it was hilarious to think that in Mexico these animals are considered exotic.
    "See that coyote there Calixa?" Trevor pointed to the scrawny shaggy dog. "Daddy used to shoot those on the farm."
     "Woof." Cally said
     Our taxi driver was ready and waiting when we finally emerged from the menagerie. The drive home was about as stomach-lurching as the way there but we made it back to the resort without incident. Then he asked for his money. It was not the agreed-upon price. Trevor was pissed and I fell into my meager roll as half-assed translator. Finally we paid him what I had understood the price to be and with a genuine "Lo siento" re-entered the resort feeling like a marked women.