What my hairstylist and her bible had to say about it

     "Aww come on, it'll be fun!" my hairstylist chirped as she painted noxious bleach over my brown and (*sigh) grey strands.
     "I know it'll be fun..." I hummed over how to say what I wanted to next. "It's just that besides the fact that Trevor is totally NOT okay with this..." (I resigned to taking the safe excuse) "I just don't know how kid-friendly this resort is going to be. I mean, they're not likely to have any kind of programs that meet our needs right?"
    "Mmmm hmmmm" she agreed halfheartedly and gave me a sideways glance. The advantage of being a hairstylist for over a decade is that Leanne had the uncanny ability to sniff out bullshit. And currently she smelled a big heaping pile of it. Desperate to take the attention away from me I shifted the focus of our discussion in her direction.
     "Well, I already know what you're going to say about it."
     'Oh do you? What would I say"
     Suddenly uber-conscious of the awkward nature of any religion-based discussion I tentatively suggested that "You'd say they were all devil-worshipers and were going to to to hell."
     Leanne belongs to a faith that is somewhat different from the mainstream and after several discussions with her about the difference between the hers and other Christian groups I'd drawn the conclusion that anything that was pagan or by inference, deviant, was looked upon as the work of Satan and considered devil-worship. As usual, I was wrong.
     "Actually there are lots of homosexuals in our faith." She began. I nodded and prepared to get schooled. "The bible doesn't condone homosexuality but that doesn't mean that homosexuals can't be part of our faith. It only means that they can't marry or fornicate."
Oh good, I felt slightly better. So according to the Leanne's faith, being gay didn't automatically earn you a one-way ticket to hell but it did mean that you had to live a life of physical denial at the risk of your soul. If that was all...
    "Ok, ok" I didn't want to get into the deeper scriptures or anything but this seemed cruel, "but what about the fact that 10% of EVERY world group, regardless of religion, is homosexual." Are all those people, despite what they believe, going to burn for all eternity?"
     "Well, avoiding an at-length discussion over the nature of the devil and the existence of hell" she said with a roll of her eyes "in our faith, if you are gay, you don't marry and you don't do it. But you are a human and you are loved."
     "Uh huh" I thought and decided right then and there to leave religion behind and chose a different tack, equally politically incorrect, but at least not leaving me at the mercy of hair bleach and a 'forgotten' timer.
     "Well, thinking about how 10% of the world's population is sexually deviant- deviant being defined here as 'outside the norm', I want to look at other ways your could describe deviation from the status quo."
     "I'm listening," Leanne was so good about not pushing her religion. She never talked about it unless I asked first and always respected my own choices. And so she patiently let me continue, "Well, because most homosexuals come from 'normal families' there is often a lot of baggage associated with openly being different. Some parents are cool, but I bet a lot of them aren't and so"  (I was thinking back now to a few gay friends I'd known), "there is often a tendency to self medicate with drugs and alcohol."
     "And...?"
      "Well, I am bringing a two-year-old to Mexico remember? I don't want her around that!"
As usual, as the voice of reason, Leanne set me straight.
    "Ok so are you going out clubbing with your toddler?"
    "No", I abashedly stared at the little drip of color sitting on the plastic cape I was wearing.
    "Are you going to be doing drugs yourself?"
     "Of course not!"
    "Then you aren't planning on exposing her to any of this stuff yourself are you!?"
     And there you had it. The proof that I had let my rationalization of stereotypes color my whole impression of this vacation. Everyone needs a hairstylist like Leanne, especially when their neck is unwittingly turning brighter and brighter shades of red.
     "You're going to Mexico with a few lemons,...So make lemonade." She said with finality and promptly set me under the dryer to 'lighten up".